is it the general consensus that what happens to you in life is 85 percent crap, 14 percent mediocre and 1 percent good. recently i have been in some of the toughest times in my life and i have been thinking about how i have been reacting when it gets tough . my initial reaction has been anger and then i repress that anger, until it comes out like a train wreck, then i feel depression and remorse and after that there is a period of anxiety and skepticism while i wait for the next bad thing. this has been my cycle for the past few months, it is tiring. when i am alone sitting in the shower i think about what kind of person i have been through it all and what kind of person i want to be? so, what kind of person are you kory? short answer, is i don't know. i know the role i try to play is calm and logical. that i am someone with the bigger picture in mind. that i know when to let go when something is beyond my control but i am not these things. i think at my root i am rash, angry, obsessive and full of self pity. normally i can keep these things in check enough so i can either hide them or function normally but recently and mostly in private between amy and i, i have been losing control. i don't know why i am posting this. except maybe i am just trying to be honest, that this is a type of confession. that i am not where i want to be and i am not happy with myself.