re-turn scene it
Friday April 04, 2008 at 9:11 PM in
loneliness has always been a simple thing to achieve. i have never found anybody like me. i have never been comforted by a place where i said to myself "this is where i belong". i know deep in my being that this will always be true. all of my life experience has affirmed this and i am not happy/sad about it i am just even.
trial by trial
Thursday April 03, 2008 at 2:33 AM in
it has been a long time since i have been vexed by sleeplessness. the past two days have been such. the first i laid down and went to sleep though i was not tired i continually woke up threw the night with surprising alertness. the second has been harder hence this journal entry. i just watched into the wild and for those who have not seen it i am going to disclose the end so stop reading.
first i must say that i longed for the supertramp to survive but it is when i don't get what i want from an ending that the movie sticks with me. in many ways it seemed that the movie invalidated his choice of seclusion, there where all the broken hearts he left behind, all of the warnings to remember his family and showing the stark difference between what was and what could have been. yet, to read it as such i think you miss the fact that it was the seclusion that freed him so that he might see the value of humanity. it was a necessary path for him and an example for all those who he met. also, it was only because of unfortunate circumstances that he died. not because of his independence from society. his "early", "premature" death validated his fully lived existences. so, perhaps this is the feel good sleeper of the year .
told stool leaving bad taste in the mouth
Wednesday April 02, 2008 at 5:40 PM in
where do i stand on being positive? i am a fan of the positive out look on life. you know, looking for the good spin on a bad situation kinda thing. glass half full and all that mess. yet, i am not inclined to such things, being negative just feels good and when i do try to look for the silver lining or key in on the good side it seems as if i am denying the truth some how. holding things in. therefore, my stance on being positive is not to say hey there is a good side but to say everything sucks but that don't mean i have to be mad/sad about it. my road to positivity is, hey life sucks get over it and enjoy yourself. no reason why i shouldn't have a smile on my face as the world rains down the crumbled pieces of my life on me.
