http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/ en Copyright 2009 Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:11:43 -0500 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss loneliness has always been a simple thing to achieve. i have never found anybody like me. i have never been comforted by a place where i said to myself "this is where i belong". i know deep in my being that this will always be true. all of my life experience has affirmed this and i am not happy/sad about it i am just even. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/04/return_scene_it.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/04/return_scene_it.html Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:11:43 -0500 it has been a long time since i have been vexed by sleeplessness. the past two days have been such. the first i laid down and went to sleep though i was not tired i continually woke up threw the night with surprising alertness. the second has been harder hence this journal entry. i just watched into the wild and for those who have not seen it i am going to disclose the end so stop reading. first i must say that i longed for the supertramp to survive but it is when i don't get what i want from an ending that the movie sticks with me. in many ways it seemed that the movie invalidated his choice of seclusion, there where all the broken hearts he left behind, all of the warnings to remember his family and showing the stark difference between what was and what could have been. yet, to read it as such i think you miss the fact that it was the seclusion that freed him so that he might see the value of humanity. it was a necessary path for him and an example for all those who he met. also, it was only because of unfortunate circumstances that he died. not because of his independence from society. his "early", "premature" death validated his fully lived existences. so, perhaps this is the feel good sleeper of the year . http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/04/trial_by_trial.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/04/trial_by_trial.html Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:33:48 -0500 where do i stand on being positive? i am a fan of the positive out look on life. you know, looking for the good spin on a bad situation kinda thing. glass half full and all that mess. yet, i am not inclined to such things, being negative just feels good and when i do try to look for the silver lining or key in on the good side it seems as if i am denying the truth some how. holding things in. therefore, my stance on being positive is not to say hey there is a good side but to say everything sucks but that don't mean i have to be mad/sad about it. my road to positivity is, hey life sucks get over it and enjoy yourself. no reason why i shouldn't have a smile on my face as the world rains down the crumbled pieces of my life on me. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/04/told_stool_leaving_bad_taste_i.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/04/told_stool_leaving_bad_taste_i.html Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:40:33 -0500 ]]> http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/song_bibs.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/song_bibs.html Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:46:16 -0500 last few days have been low points, yet there where some shining moments, my studio took a giant leap in organization and now is showing signs of floor space. after a two week hiatus my d&d group had the chance to play, much slaying occurred. also i reacquired a cell phone, it is from ancient days long past and literally creaks when you flip it open but it is a phone nonetheless. it is a temporary band aid until my two years, which is in about a month, are up and i get to pay the cheap price on the tag. perhaps i will get a phone that transforms into a robotic hand with jet propulsion that makes vegan meatball subs, i heard that technology was just on the horizon. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/what_a_spent_it_day.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/what_a_spent_it_day.html Wed, 26 Mar 2008 09:37:18 -0500 this week brought to me two shows full of noise and a comic book. i also taught my self how to fold napkins in both a bunny head shape as well as a lotus flower (big props goes out to big eyes for helping me fold about a hundred of them for an event at work) the house is looking cleaner than it has in days and the bathroom looks usable. i started the first few panels on a comic book that will probable never get off the ground and the dogs ate another painting, this will make the third painting in three months. it must be that my skills are so amazing that i can actually alter the taste of paper and paint with images and the taste registers irresistible on our dogs palette. i have new shoes that will be arriving in a few weeks, opposed to a few days due to them being on back order and i have run out of mundane facts about my life to report. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/dead_in_the_wabble.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/dead_in_the_wabble.html Mon, 17 Mar 2008 08:47:45 -0500 just cool fossilized facts. simple and clear. no muddled human experiences. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/for_it_is_nesting_series.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/for_it_is_nesting_series.html Sat, 08 Mar 2008 15:50:00 -0500 oh what to do with a wasted day, do i keep it in my pocket or stick it to the bottom of my shoe. i am always organizing it seems. not in a fanatical clean way but in a, i always feel disorganized and if i could just get my ducks in a row i would have this fulfilling life. yet, in the end all my possessions don't seem to break down into groups well. so, whats the solution if it can't be organized then toss it or organization is for the weak, live, dwell and be consumed by the chaos that is the mess. maybe i will just take the middle road and put the messes in to there respectable places and do my living between the piles. i found this lost memory in an old sketch book from three years ago" i worked a few hours with paul today. i helped him with a surveying job. it was at a vending business's warehouse thingy. there wash a trash bin with praying hands encased with in flames painted on the side. also, there was 30 or forty broken down soda coolers, like the ones put in front of the checkout" it was a pretty boring day, then i would have never pictured my self in the position i find myself now and though those weren't the greatest of days i had hope of better days. i just don't have that anymore. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/poor_ridge.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/poor_ridge.html Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:53:16 -0500 so it is not that i have nothing say, or i have done nothing but what has been done is not easy to say. on another note, i have had my wisdom teeth removed, and they were replaced by bloody holes that have turned into food chunk repositories. which, in comparison to the pain i was in, having to rinse out my tooth pits for the time being is worth it. i also have acquired more responsibilities at work along with a slight increase in pay therefore work is less fun during and life more fun after, due to cash flow. it is a trade off that had to be made. also in recent reports on my life i was seen making an add for a friend in need of one. it was a rush job and my first experience in the design world. could have been better and it could have been worse, either way it was fun. it also has solidified my desire for a wacom tablet, 9x12 intuos3 if anybody cares to send me one. i hear that no illustrator is complete without one. to finish off this post i would like to quote my last post "so i done some stuff and i did some other stuff. art blah blah. dog stuff and what ever more stuff. and doom death destruction" http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/trinkets_make_the_days_pretty.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/03/trinkets_make_the_days_pretty.html Sun, 02 Mar 2008 03:13:41 -0500 so i done some stuff and i did some other stuff. art blah blah. dog stuff and what ever more stuff. and doom death destruction http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/have_at_tack.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/have_at_tack.html Sat, 12 Jan 2008 07:53:59 -0500 is it the general consensus that what happens to you in life is 85 percent crap, 14 percent mediocre and 1 percent good. recently i have been in some of the toughest times in my life and i have been thinking about how i have been reacting when it gets tough . my initial reaction has been anger and then i repress that anger, until it comes out like a train wreck, then i feel depression and remorse and after that there is a period of anxiety and skepticism while i wait for the next bad thing. this has been my cycle for the past few months, it is tiring. when i am alone sitting in the shower i think about what kind of person i have been through it all and what kind of person i want to be? so, what kind of person are you kory? short answer, is i don't know. i know the role i try to play is calm and logical. that i am someone with the bigger picture in mind. that i know when to let go when something is beyond my control but i am not these things. i think at my root i am rash, angry, obsessive and full of self pity. normally i can keep these things in check enough so i can either hide them or function normally but recently and mostly in private between amy and i, i have been losing control. i don't know why i am posting this. except maybe i am just trying to be honest, that this is a type of confession. that i am not where i want to be and i am not happy with myself. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/sir_that_is_not_a_knighted.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/sir_that_is_not_a_knighted.html Tue, 08 Jan 2008 09:29:46 -0500 worked today and watched a bit of marie antoinette, i am a big fan of period pieces and i know it is stretching it to call marie antoinette a period piece but its got the costumes so close enough. took some pictures at a most dismal sheffield beach yesterday, grey and gloomy as far as the eye could see, a perfect metaphor for my life. i was rather satisfied with the results. yet at last i am just to lazy to actual post them but if you check out sweat pea's page you can see some she took. i also started to make stickers again and put a few up around the neighborhood. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/rabid_tossing_and_turning.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/rabid_tossing_and_turning.html Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:59:59 -0500 yesterday i went to an early showing of i am legend. not to shabby, in comparison to what i expected. i would just like to take a moment and praise the midway mall cinemas for having a 3.75 first showing rate. its great because it is cheap and there is never anybody in the theater. had to clean the house, the shears where stopping by to go out to eat, we took them to melt using are car with the roomy back seat. really looking forward to the next step of getting the rescue off the ground, trying not to putter around with this, excitement wears off easily for me and i don't want this to fizzle. did a bit of painting and a bit of drawing http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/same_when_no_one_is_around.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/same_when_no_one_is_around.html Sat, 05 Jan 2008 08:29:22 -0500 so the idea was to try to post everyday and i am already behind but what ever i made up the rules. i got the stitches out of my arm today, what did you say? i didn't post about stitches. well about two weeks back a mirror fell on me, it cut opened my elbow enough for three stitches. two weeks was one week longer than i was suppose to have them in for. so, it was a bit more painful getting the stitches out then having them put in. i also started to do some research on starting a no-profit organization. hoping to get involved with starting up a new animal rescue. i picked up sweet pea and went to thai house for lunch. we had actually just eaten there for dinner the night before but they have great curry and stir fry. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/finkle_poo.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2008/01/finkle_poo.html Thu, 03 Jan 2008 18:41:19 -0500 so, been a long time blah blah blah. a lot has happened in my life since my last post and i have been taking for granted the stability of my personnel status quo. so what does that mean for this particular site? don't know, perhaps i will update more often, perhaps i will take it down because it is doing nothing for me or anybody else. the most common experience i have with this site is i type out about half a post and then decide that it is just a depressing rant and never post anything. i react this way because i have been posting for an audience but i have decide to instead use this site as a record of not being lazy. my number one problem is the "lazy".the lazy has followed me around all my life and i am always dogged by it's decimating after effects. so, whats in store for this site in the immediate future is this; i will post daily everything i have been up to so i can create a sense of accountability. as the time between post lengthen i hope that it will be be like a drill on my temple and like biofeedback therapy i will be more aware of my laziness and therefore more apt to control it. http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2007/12/ikabody_and_crainium.html http://www.passivesmarcasm.com/pp/2007/12/ikabody_and_crainium.html Mon, 31 Dec 2007 15:36:10 -0500